stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize