After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize