I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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