We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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