my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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