her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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