tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize