I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
this beer tastes like vomit already
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
