you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
His nipple licking is glorious
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