To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
