She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
