I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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