He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
