HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
