You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
