Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
