he shaved USA in his pubs
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
