that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
