Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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