Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
