Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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