Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
