Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
