you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
