I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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