woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
