Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
