this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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