oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
well you can't waste a boner
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I deserve this hangover.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize