I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
