I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
