he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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