is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize