I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
