You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
