she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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