Dual....:-)
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
