im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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