I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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