first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
