Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
