Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
