So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
