so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
