the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
