Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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