I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
