Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize