he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
