remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
