is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize