Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
