The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
