One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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