i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
