I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
