My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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