I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i just had sex bonerless
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just blew my weed a kiss
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
