my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
