just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
