READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
